More Leaks Than A...

oh fuck me, Jon and Daenerys are alone together, ugh

Shut it, Littlefinger, we don't need anymore Jonerys talk. I hope everyone's ready for Dark!Sansa and a Dance of Wolves.

I'm sorry, like, how does This make sense on Any planet? If she wanted you dead,
she would have just done it and taken your face, Sansa.

Yes, Dany, FLY TO WINTERFELL! STAY AWAY FROM BOATS!
GODSBEDAMNEDFUCKINGSHITNONONO!

Also, all this talk of cocks, and then we have More time wasted on Theon's man pain?
Oh...sooo unexpected, Jon telling Theon he can be Both Houses.

I'm sorry, did we Really need nearly An Hour of pissing contests?
/ragequit #cancellingmen

Wait, that's their bid to feminism? We can live vicariously through Theon the Cockless, who still, as a man sans cock, is worthy of following to rescue his sister...?

Gonna hold on a minute at this Winterfell scene, and just Pray that Sansa actually Learned Something from Littlefinger and has them kill his ass instead of making Arya kill everyone in that damned room. I'll watch now and start swearing accordingly

Fuck YES, Someone Somewhere Listened to Reason!

Dark!Sansa and her assassin sister,
ftw! Nice circular closure on that dagger as well.

The Golden Company and the Iron Bank,
eh? Pretty sure they'll have their own agenda once those new debts fall into arrears.

C'mon Jaime, survive and live free! Go wrestle Tormund for Brienne! (just don't arm wrestle...)

Okay, NOW we finally have snow in KL,
commence mass starvation and greyscale infection, nevermind the poopie tsunami.

So...the Citadel to Winterfell in the time it takes to go from Eastwatch to King's Landing, eh? No wonder Sansa was so broody/angsty, she had like an entire month to mull over that.

I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time believing in Bran the Omniscient,
pretty sure there's no heart trees where Little finger threatened Ned-

Oh FUCK! Just...fade to black, fade to black, FADE TO BLACK!

::VOMITS::

Gods...just...ugh...I'm soiled forever.

Y'know, if Dany would have flown,
she would have come right up onto Winterfell right as Lady Stark Sansa and Something Else Arya were watching from the walls. I'll hold That close against the night of darkness and terrors.

Oh hey, the Army of the Dead finally made it, and they didn't even Need the Horn of Joramun to take down the Wall.

It will, however, take them a whole damned year to walk to Winterfell,
even though they're at Eastwatch, and Karhold is closest, but fuck that,
frozen zombies only roll on the Kingsroad, and like Farmboy!Jon said, there's more people in KL than there is in the whole of the North (seriously people, just hide in the Winterfell crypt when you see them coming, it worked for Bran and the Reeds), why gorge on appetizer trays when you can just walk a little more and sign up for the buffet?
Especially when you have a flying frost dragon rider for a leader scoping out the joint while you march a mile every other day.

Or, y'know, a Drogon riding Dany comes upon Winterfell right as the Trueborn Starks are all alone trying to fight off the hordes of the undead, she was drawn by the Can't-Miss-A Bigass Frost Dragon.
That's my tweak and I'm sticking to it.